Bad Dates

We have all had them. As someone who is still dating, I will have more. Please keep reading to hear a few of my stories from my (funny) dating life.

I have had a boy read me a menu because he was so nervous. Literally, read me the menu. After about two minutes of "Malbec from Mendoza, Pinot from Paso Robles, etc, etc," I suddenly yet as sweetly as possible yelled, "I will take the Prosecco please!" Needless to say, I was not feeling it. He tried to get me to go on a walk. I answered that my shoes were too tall. He asked for dinner. I said I wasn't hungry (my stomach was growling). He told me he would take me home. I said I preferred to walk. Although it was raining. And my afore-mentioned heels were 4 inches tall (making me taller than him, by the way - for those of you who don't remember, I am 5 feet 2 inches). I am not used to rejecting but feeling rejected, but knew it was best to cut the cord early. I received a text from him that night, and a call from him the next day. Why is it the boys that like me I hope will find someone else? Ignore me, and tell me you are unavailable and I wait for your call.

From being set up on some blind dates, I have learned that having mutual friends plus availability doesn't equal a match. I am not sure if I will allow myself to be set up again. Most people I have been set up with are only set up with me because we are both single. That doesn't mean we have anything to talk about. One guy I went out with didn't drink (I love wine -it's one of my favorite things) and it turns out he only likes Asian girls. I am 100% Irish. Needless to say our hug good-bye was the last time we saw each other.

My most famous dating story is the boy who broke up with me by 3am voicemail. I was asleep, having taken my visiting sister out on the town. I woke up, thinking I was going to hear a message of sweet nothings. This turned out to be true - the voicemail spoke of how great the girl of the messengers heart was and how he was excited to be with her. The girl was not me, but his ex. I texted my San Francisco girlfriends, "Bad Dating Story, 5,467: The Voicemail," explaining the situation. They offered to fight him, slash his tires, etc, but I knew he wasn't worth it and simply added it to our book (which we could publish), which includes boys who have been arrested en route to a date (for a DUI - definitely not a keeper), boys who we were pretty sure liked boys, and dates who wanted to split the bill - literally to the penny.

People wonder why I am single. I will point them to this post.

Viva Espana!

Green hills surrounded us. A large valley was below us. Our futures were ahead of us, but we only wanted to be here. "This is it!" my friend Kyler smiled. "This is what life is about." We were sitting in the foothills of Spain, celebrating the end of our program with 38 of our closest new friends, about to leave behind five months of laughs, headaches, and late night dinners. We were college kids, young and excited, far from the Rockies where we grew up but comfortable in these mountains just the same. We were having fun, learning alot and having adventures everyday. How could it be time to go home?

We were gone for almost a half year, arriving with little Spanish, not quite knowing what to expect. As soon as she arrived to pick me up, I knew which woman was to be my Spanish mom. She had crazy curly hair, like me, but dyed red. Her lipstick was orange and her sweater was white, setting off her pretty skin. A bit older than my mother, she moved slower but spoke faster, apologizing for being late. I didn't mind, I said in broken Spanish, no accent yet. Outside the hotel, her boyfriends car was waiting. It was tiny, and I had to sat on top of my luggage, full of what I thought I would need while I was away.

We get to the apartment and have a simple dinner. I am so jet lagged, and tired from a late night in Madrid the night before, that I almost fall asleep. I am awoken from my restless dreams by a stranger in tears. The girl who is to be my roomate. She is reading the Bible and looking at pictures of her boyfriend. I am already allergic to the smoke and the dog in the apartment - I don't think I can have a party pooper as well. I pretend I am sleeping and wonder how to switch families.

In the morning, I wake up and introduce myself. Katie is fantastic! She is similar to me in the fact that gave herself the room to cry, but will not cry again until she is saying good-bye to me five months later. I realize that first impressions are not always true and that I have to stay with my crazy family who fights constantly, pretends their son isn't gay and has a dog that they haven't cleaned and found in a gutter. It was the right decision.

Back to Kyler. We had been friendly at school but once we arrived in Spain, we bonded. There were 5 schools represented here, all small private schools from the Northwest. Never had the group been as been cohesive as ours, in the 15 years that our director had maintained his role. Individual differences were counteracted by the fact that we were all there to learn and all open to adventure (the party atmosphere of Andalucia didn't hurt). I have never stayed up so late on such a consistent basis. I have never been drunk on such a consistent basis. I have never studied at bars since. I have never learned so much- about life, what I wanted and the culture of a beautiful country.

From my host families debates, as well as Telenovelas (La Verdad de Lara was a hit), I learned Spanish. From my roomate, I learned patience and how to play drinking games. From my friend Amber, I learned how to drink and wear bandanas as a top. From myself, I realized I needed more alone time than the average bear and that I wasn't a natural speaker, but was a natural mimic and could use that to my advantage. Nine years have passed and I can remember things vividly. I think its time to go back.

job hunting

is not fun. No one likes it. We have all helped others.

Since my last job had me dealing with recruiting often, I have learned alot about the hunt the past few years. Here are few tips and tricks.

1. Always spell check. This includes mentioning correct position and company in your cover letter.

2. Make sure you do at the very least a quick google search of the company you are applying for. For example, I used to work for the Alexander Group. We were management consultants. I recieved applications for recruiters, which was another firm down the street.

3. A great recruiter once told me, think of your resume as marketing collateral - it should be something used as a marketing piece and not just say what you did, but mention what you can do and want to do.

4. Never stop networking. Join groups, help others and tell people what you are looking for.

5. Don't leave jobs on bad terms.

6. Don't trash talk. Anyone. Except to your closest confidantes (never never at work).

7. Keep your resume and linkedin current and your facebook profile private (don't use drunken photos as your profile picture - people look at them).

8. Have a chronological, easy to read resume.

9. Take classes if needed.

10. Know what you want and go after it.

11. Send polite, hand written thank you notes to recruiters within 24 hours of an interview.

12. Work around the person's schedule is going to interview you.

13. Keep in touch with your references, and not just when you need a job. Send them thank you notes as well. They have spent valuable time making you look good.

14. Help others as often as you can.

15. Never stop networking! Even if you are happy with your position, keep yourself out there.

16. Create your own opportunities.

Mimi

Sassy, little and loud, this is a woman who stands out. I am lucky to have her in my life and am lucky to have inheritied parts of her (I will let you decide which ones).

Mimi is the nickname of my grandmother, Anna Margaret Jones. She prefers not to be called a grandma, as "that is for old people," and she is only 90 years young.

She is someone who almost always keeps a positive attitude while being forward moving and positive thinking.

Her favorite expression is "That is stupid and dumb;" or the alternatives, "They are stupid and dumb," or the worst, "You are being stupid and dumb." These can be at times uplifting (when you break up with a boyfriend) or horrifying (when you have given her a gift you thought was nice).

Top 8 Things I Have Learned from Mimi

1. Always be honest. Mean what you say and don't beat around the bush.

2. Keep the people closest whom you like the most. Why waste time with the others? I hope I have my same friends 60 years from now when I am Mimi's age (she has the same friends from the first grade).

3. Give as much as you can. You can't take your money with you when you are gone so give it now. See where there is a need, big or small, and get in there and help. Whether its a donation of time, food, money, whatever you can give, give!

4. Family and friends are the most important things in life.

5. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. God already knows and He is the only one who cares so get on with it!

6. Cookies are done, people are finished (translation - use correct grammar).

7. Know table manners. You can then sit with anyone and look like you know what you are doing. (If all else fails, start from the outside and move in).

8. Have more than one child. Its good for them.

Things I Will Do... Starting Now!

I will:

1. Not let people tell me that I can't do something.

2. Learn as much as I can.

3. Not be afraid to wear a swimsuit.

4. Read as much as I can.

5. Stay active in my community.

6. Use my gym membership (its expensive!)

7. Not let people say negative things around me (and I will keep my own negativity at bay).

8. Laugh everyday.

9. Eat more tamales.

10. Be more proactive my future.

What are you going to do?

Bridesmaids- the movie

As someone who has been a bridesmaid 8 times, I have experience. I was even the maid of honor once (and cried through my toast and am pretty sure I snorted). Its an honor to be invited to be a part of someone's special day and I don't even mind spending the bucks it takes to be in someone's bridal party as its excuse to make new friends and celebrate old ones. As we get older, there is less time to hang out and celebrate friends so any excuse to get together is awesome.

I admit that I have already seen the movie Bridesmaids twice. Although my experiences haven't been the same, I could appreciate the fact that getting older, being single and feeling unsuccessful can make you a little nuts. (I have recently resigned from my position, cut my hair and broken up with a boyfriend so I can relate). What is it about weddings that makes us remember all of our bad family drama and relationship disasters? Or makes us hopeful that our date will turn into something more?

Bridesmaids brings up all of this and more. I loved that this movie was about women who wanted the best for each other (even if it didn't always seem that way). Friends are the ones that stay through the break-ups, the let-downs as well as the parties and celebrations- we should call them more often. Even through the ladies of the film weren't perfect (and some made some huge mistakes), they stuck by each other no matter what. The two morals of the story are that when you are down, there is nowhere to go but up and that forgiveness is part of friendship. Told in a raunchy yet sweet way, these things ring true.

Positivity Works!

when you around negative, you react to that energy - normally in a non-positive way. why live this way?

i have recently come to the conclusion that the way to be happy is to surround yourself with people that make you feel good and make you better. this doesn't mean that they don't sometimes tell you that you are wrong but they do it out of love. everytime i am around people with love in their hearts and light in their eyes, i remember that life is good. why not live that way all the time?